Aftermath
by Marj
Summary: Thoughts within the Hanagumi concerning the death and revival of one of their own.
1. Assurances

_Author's Notes:_  
SPOILER WARNING!! If you haven't seen the Sakura Taisen Kayou Show Final (Shin Ai Yueni) and have intentions of watching it, plus is allergic to spoilers, then please _back out now_. This story is highly inspired by that show, particularly the events in Act 2, and I don't really want to ruin such powerful scenes for you.

For those still willing to read the fic, but haven't seen the show and would like to have an idea of the scenes this story was based upon, please refer to the post notes at the bottom for a (very) short synposis.

This story was meant to be a one-shot, but it kind of became longer than what I first came up with as I went along. As such, it would most likely end as a two-parter, at most maybe three.

I had also used plenty of in-game reference throughout the entire fic, and had noted them down.

_Disclaimer:_ Sakura Taisen is owned by Sega and Red Entertainment. I am not making a profit out of this fanfic, but still, this particular story is mine, so please don't take it.

* * *

**Aftermath**

**-Assurances-**

* * *

It was a sight that most - if not all - tabloid reporters would have loved to see.

Three of the popular Hanagumi actresses were completely wasted. One was hanging all over the ticket clipper, while the other two also had to be supported by their sober peers as they were all guided back to their quarters. It was really quite fortunate that they had held their "little" party within the premises of the Great Imperial Theatre - unless their gossipy secretarial staff willed it, the public would never be aware of that night's unpleasantries.

There was a reason for their celebrations, of course. Once more, they have successfully defended the Imperial Capital from the hands of a monstrosity a madman had given birth to. It was a bitter battle were lives were once again lost but won back, and had perhaps contributed to the reason why some of them got as drunk as they had that night...

"Whaat? The niightsss... -hic- owvrrre? That can't beee... (1)Chuu'i... -hic- ... go n'... gettas'more booze!"

Oogami and Reni looked at each other, both knowing fully well that Sumire could no longer handle any more alcohol that what she had already ingested.

Sumire glared at them, since neither made any moves to grant her request. "Fine, then. I shall -hic- go'en get some m... myself..." she slurred, standing up gracefully from her bed, only to swoon and fall back down again. "Ara... I seem to have -hic- loost my footing... -hic- Chuu'i, be a gentleman and he... -hic- help me up?"

Oogami shook his head, but he did sat down beside Sumire and tried to get her to lie down. "I think you should get some rest, Sumire-kun."

"Awwww, c'mon Chu... -hic- Chuu'i!" Sumire said, her arms placed around Oogami's neck as she had earlier, much to his embarrassment. He tried to pry her away, but she was holding on just a little too tight.

"It would be best for you to cease drinking now, before you make your hang-over worse in the morning," Reni advised.

"You're no fun," Sumire pouted. "We're young! -hic- We're hii... hel... healthy! We're ALIVE!" Much to Oogami's shock, she suddenly stood up during her declaration, fist raised in the air, her face filled with determination... before she sank down again with a "hic".

"Yes, but we're not invincible," The Hanagumi's captain commented, wincing as Sumire latched on to him again.

"H-HMPH! Why don'cha tell _that_ -hic- that to our dear lit'l country hick?!" Sumire replied, glaring at Oogami.

The somewhat relaxed atmosphere suddenly became tense. Reni looked away as Oogami stared at the intoxicated girl. "Sumire-kun..."

"Always... _always_ making us -hic- worry! Doesn't she -hic- know that it gives me -hic- wran... wrung... wrinklesss?! That is ce-certainly unaccept… unacc... unacceptable, right, Chuu'i?!"

Oogami couldn't reply. It was a topic that was certainly on the forefront of his mind that night, but he had never expected that it would be Sumire's as well. At least, not after that wild party they just had, and with her in her current state.

_Or perhaps_, he thought, _maybe I should have_.

After all. If he hadn't anticipated that this would happen and that his help would eventually be needed, he would have loved to have gotten drunk for what was probably the same reason.

Sumire slightly pushed herself away from him, her expression pained as she tightly gripped his shirt.

"You! -hic- You!! She listens to you!! You tell 'er... -hic- you _tell_ 'er, Chuu'i... that if it happens again, I shall... -hic- drag 'er back n' kill 'er! -hic- My lack of (2)reiryoku be damned! Under... und... _got that_?!"

Oogami gave her a faint smile. "I think it would be better if you told her yourself," he said.

But Sumire was not listening. Her face was pressed against the sleeve of his shirt, mumbling incomprehensively, though Oogami was certain he was able to pick up words such as "stupid", "dumb", and "martyr" somewhere. His sleeve was also getting noticeably damp...

He glanced at Reni, who was once more looking back at them. Though her face didn't show it, her eyes revealed that she, too, was still bothered - if not haunted - by the day's events. He didn't need any mirrors to know that his own were probably reflecting hers, either.

If this was how Sumire, Reni, and himself were, the rest of the Hanagumi were probably feeling the same way.

It was going to be a long, restless night.

Not long after her sudden outburst, Sumire finally fell asleep, her head rested on Oogami's shoulder. After easing Sumire into bed, Oogami exited the room and waited for Reni as she changed the older girl's clothes into something more suited for sleeping. He could have already left, but he knew he couldn't leave without speaking to the young German.

Besides, the person he most wanted to talk to that night was busy with someone else.

* * *

Sakura held Kohran upright on her bed as Iris buttoned up her pyjamas. The Chinese girl was in a lethargic state – she hadn't passed out from the alcohol, but it seemed as if she wasn't aware of what was going on around her either. She just sat there, smiling at nothing, gnawing contentedly as she let her friends dress her up.

Though she tried not to show it, Sakura was actually worried about Kohran. It was not the first time Kohran had any alcohol, but she usually knew her limits, and never got this intoxicated before.

"There we go!" Iris said cheerfully as she finished, picking up Jean Paul from Sakura's lap and standing up straight. "Kohran can go to sleep now!"

Her companion nodded. Making sure that she wouldn't be hitting any of the odd machines that were strewn on the floor, Sakura stood up, still holding on to Kohran's arms as she gently laid her on the mattress. Sakura then knelt down near her friend's head and smiled. "We'll be leaving now," she said softly. "Sweet dreams, Kohran."

Without warning, Kohran suddenly grabbed on to one of Sakura's hands, her once peaceful face now registering what was almost a manic desperation. "NO!! Don't go!!"

"K-Kohran...?" Sakura stammered, surprised at the sudden movement.

"You can't leave us!" Kohran cried, her voice full of despair. "You have to stay with us... you hear?!"

"But Kohran, Sakura isn't going anywhere," Iris reasoned.

"You sure?" Kohran asked in a small, insecure voice.

The swordswoman placed her free hand on Kohran's, wincing a bit as her friend tightened her grip on her other hand. "I was just going to bed. I won't be going anywhere else," she reassured.

"Thank goodness," Kohran said, her shoulders shaking as she began to sob. "Sakura-han... Sakura-han..."

Sakura shot Iris a questioning look, but the young French could only shrug as she failed to meet her eyes. Iris obviously knew more, but she wasn't talking. For the moment, anyway.

"I'm so sorry, Sakura-han," Kohran sobbed. "I have devoted my entire life to science, and yet I could still do nothing when it really counted... I'm truly worthless..."

"That's not true!!" Iris suddenly exclaimed. "You helped Iris bring Sakura back! Everyone helped! Without everyone, Iris would have..." She discontinued and bit her lip.

Though Sakura personally could not remember anything her little companion had said, the fact that they were able to talk to their distressed friend was proof enough that what they had done had worked. "Iris is right. The both of us are here today because of the Hanagumi. And I am able to be in front of you right now because my wounds were healed by the medi-pod. See?" She lifted Kohran's hands and held them close to her heart. "Kohran..."

Kohran smiled weakly as she felt the comforting warmth of her friend's hands. "That's true, isn't it? It worked... and you were able to fight the monster because of it, right?"

Sakura nodded.

"You totally beat the living crap out of it, right?"

Sakura grinned widely. She most certainly did. With her wielding her father's sword, combined with the blood of the Haja flowing through her veins, the monster stood no chance.

"... You won't ever leave us again, right?"

The swordswoman opened her mouth, but no sound came out. She swallowed hard, unable to say anything.

How ironic that the thoughts she just had earlier about the advantages she gained from her family's inheritance were now the same thoughts that were causing her distress.

"I don't want to lose anyone ever again," Kohran continued, her voice was getting fainter as she slowly succumbed to sleep. "My family... Ayame-han... Sakura-han... please, no more..."

Sakura was still speechless as she stared at Kohran's slumbering, yet still visibly troubled form. She waited until her friend's breathing was even before gently disengaging herself from the hands that were still holding on to hers.

However, it had not been long before another hand replaced Kohran's.

Looking down, Sakura saw that Iris was staring at her intensely. She knew that the younger girl could read her heart, and of the turmoil that raged within it, which had grown in intensity since Kohran's last question.

"It's getting late... shall I take you to your room?" Sakura whispered.

Iris nodded, but didn't take her eyes off her. Being Iris' unofficial caretaker, it was not at all uncommon for Sakura to take her to her quarters for the evening every now and then. However, she knew that that night would not be a normal visit. It wouldn't be full of fairy tales and happily ever afters, as they once were when Sakura still read to Iris before bed.

Thanks to her emphatic powers, it was quite obvious that Sakura wanted to talk to her privately, and she already had an idea of what it was about.

She also didn't have any intentions of giving in to the request which she knew would follow.

* * *

"I see. I'm glad to hear that everyone is all right," Orihime said.

Maria ran a hand through her platinum blonde hair; the other made sure that the (3)kinematron was steady on her lap while she knelt in a (4)seiza position beside Kanna's (5)futon. "It was truly fortunate that you were able to sense what's going on here even though you're so far away."

Orihime made a shooing gesture at the video monitor. "Of course, _de-su_! It's truly nothing. I'm just sorry I missed the fiesta!"

The Russian chuckled softly. "I have to go. We hope to hear from you again soon."

"Yes, well, I shall keep in touch. Good fortune, Maria-san! (6)Ciao!"

Maria closed the kinematron and turned to look at Kanna, who was already lying on her futon, a damp washcloth on her face. "Are you feeling better?" she asked.

Kanna sighed. "Yeah. I'm actually quite sober now," she answered, taking off the cloth as she sat up. "I'm sorry, Maria. I can imagine that you had to take care of the mess..."

Incredibly drunk, Kanna ended up being quite sick as she was being assisted to her room. Fortunately for Maria, she was given enough warning that she had time to open the nearest window and thrust Kanna's head out just as the woman began to flush the alcohol out of her system. It had just been a simple matter of taking a hose and washing the mess away at the courtyard later on while Kanna was recovering.

Maria waved her hand, telling her that she didn't mind. "It's all right. Just try to control yourself next time."

Kanna smirked. "Yeah."

The two friends remained silent for a while, each with their eyes closed, lost in their own thoughts. Maria eventually made a move to stand up. "I have to get going," she said.

"Is this what it felt like?" Kanna suddenly asked.

Maria turned to look at her. "What do you mean...?" she inquired after a short pause, even though she already knew what Kanna was talking about.

"Back in Russia. During the war. You must have lost a lot of friends, didn't you?"

The markswoman didn't reply.

Kanna snorted. "Yeah, sure, we've lost someone before... Ayame-san had been a huge blow to us. But then, even though a lot of things happened in the years after that, we managed to pull through. For a while, I thought, with all of us together and guarding each other's backs, it can't happen again. But now..."

"What exactly are you trying to say?"

Kanna clenched her fists in anger. "Damn it, Maria, I was there! I was so close! Maybe if I hadn't stopped to have a chat... if I hadn't grabbed something to eat... if I had just simply _walked _faster, then maybe..."

Memories of a harsh Russian winter began creeping back into Maria's mind. She closed her eyes, willing it to go away. (7)After Setsuna's defeat, she was no longer haunted by the memory, but due to recent events, she wasn't quite sure if she could handle it as well as she had for the past how many years.

"I didn't even hear the sounds of battle!" Kanna continued bitterly. "Thanks to my inattention, by the time I got there, it was too late, and... and... (8)_kuso_, there was so much blood..."

She gritted her teeth as the events of that day came flashing back...

_The usual pink kimono as dark red as her hakama. _

_The white towel quickly transforming into the same shade of red as she tried to stop the bleeding. _

_Quick, shallow breaths taken, all in vain as too much blood was lost, no longer able to carry the precious oxygen. _

_The painful admission from the dying herself that she would not survive._

_Body falling limp... hearts stopping, one literally and one figuratively... a mournful howl..._

"Kanna!" Maria yelled as she shook her shoulders. "Kanna! Snap out of it!!"

Kanna suddenly opened her eyes, surprised to find the moisture in them. Her fists had been so tightly clenched, her palm began to bleed.

She couldn't take it any longer. The vision of Sakura dying in her arms was just too much to bear. Kanna was no stranger to death, and she normally didn't break down easily. But when you could only watch helplessly as someone you consider as family died a painful death within inches in front of you, things change.

"Maria... I... I can't..."

Maria took the damp cloth on the futon and began to wipe Kanna's hands with them. "It's not your fault," she said softly.

"But I wasn't able to save her..."

The Russian shook her head. "Kanna, it's _not_ your fault," she insisted.

Kanna didn't look convinced. In her mind, there could have been so many things she could have done in order to prevent what had happened, and she didn't know if she could ever forgive herself for it.

Maria sighed. She wasn't good at this... she just had her own demons settled not too long ago! And she, too, was still extremely troubled by the events that took place that day. But she knew that Oogami was also too preoccupied dealing with the other Hanagumi members – she just saw him with Reni when she had gone back to Kanna's room after cleaning the mess at the courtyard. The least she could do as his vice captain was to help him out.

"Look," she began. "The important thing is that you didn't know it was going to happen. _Nobody_ knew. If you had known in advance, you certainly would have done everything in your power to save her, right?"

"Of course I would!!"

"Besides, if you hadn't brought her back as early as you did despite the circumstances, she might have already been too far gone for Iris to have helped..."

Kanna smiled bitterly. "I had assured her that the medi-pod would take care of her wounds."

"And take care of them, it did," Maria said. "But as for the pods not being able to bring her back to life, don't consider it to be another failure. If I'm not mistaken, Kohran is still berating herself over that, too. There's no need for the both of you to be so worked up about it.

"If it was truly that easy to bring people back from the dead without any repercussions, then we wouldn't be where we are today."

Maria closed her eyes and looked back, putting her mental defences down and allowing her memories to take over. Remembering her captain's death was still very painful for her. However, the event eventually led to her being "discovered" by Ayame and brought to her new _family_. And though she was distant at first, for each passing year it has become increasingly difficult for Maria to imagine a life without the Hanagumi.

"Don't allow guilt or regret to consume you. You did what you can, and that was enough." Maria laid a hand on her friend's shoulder. _Don't be like me_, she added silently.

Kanna nodded slowly. She then smirked and rubbed her nose. "Heh... I'm sorry. I must have been acting really weird."

"Well, you haven't been your usual self," Maria said, smiling a bit. "I thought perhaps it was the alcohol."

"You think?"

"Yes."

"Hehe... well, whatever it was, thanks."

And then they grew silent again, enough for them to hear the muffled voices carried over by the wind from Iris' room.

"I'm so glad they're both okay," Kanna finally said.

Maria nodded. "Me, too."

Kanna plopped back down on her futon. "I guess I better get some rest."

Her companion stood up. "I had better return to my quarters as well."

"Hey, Maria? One last question?"

Maria looked at her questioningly. "What is it?"

"Do you think you would have still been able to say all of that stuff even if she hadn't been revived?"

Maria thought for a moment, before shaking her head and giving an honest answer. "I don't know."

_--Tsuzuki_--

* * *

_Story Notes_:  
(1) - "chuu'i" - First Lieutenant (in the army), or Lieutenant Junior Grade (in the navy), the latter perhaps better for Oogami as he's from the navy.  
(2) - "reiryoku" - spirit energy  
(3) - "kinematron" - video conference machine the size of a briefcase that Kohran invented, debuting in Sakura Taisen 2  
(4) - "seiza" - sitting on one's lower legs, with feet underneath and toes pointing backwards. Can get quite painful when used in long duration.  
(5) - "futon" - flat mattresses, usually laid on tatami (woven straw) mats and tucked away when not in use.  
(6) - "ciao" - Italian word of salutation  
(7) - Reference: Sakura Taisen 1 Episode 3  
(8) - "kuso" - swear word

_An Extremely Short Synopsis of Act 1&2_:  
The Hanagumi were planning to do a reproduction of Ai Yue Ni. As Orihime was not present in Tokyo, Sumire was invited to help (despite her retirement due to her reiryoku disappearing), thus her presence in the story.

However, peace in Tokyo was being threatened. A mad doctor created monsters, one of them particularly powerful, and unleashed them to the city. Sakura, in particular, was ambushed, and though she was able to hold up on her own, things quickly went from bad to worse when the monster took a woman and her baby hostage. By the time an oblivious Kanna arrived, the monster had gone, and all she saw was a fatally injured Sakura. It was not long afterwards when Sakura died.

Kanna, in denial, brought her back to the Teigeki and laid her into one of the medical pods at the basement. It didn't work. Kohran said that the pod could not revive the dead, much to her dismay. Iris, who had just recently discovered that she could bring living things back to life by offering a part of her own, was determined to sacrifice herself for Sakura. The rest of the Hanagumi then asked Iris to share the burden with them (even Sumire, despite her weak reiryoku).

Everyone was okay, Sakura was revived, she defeated the monster with Arataka, they celebrated, and Act 2 ends. _Medetashi, medetashi! _Hehe.


	2. Questions

_Author's Notes:_  
SPOILER WARNING!! If you haven't seen the Sakura Taisen Kayou Show Final (Shin Ai Yueni) and have intentions of watching it, plus is allergic to spoilers, then please _back out now_. This story is highly inspired by that show, particularly the events in Act 2, and I don't really want to ruin such powerful scenes for you.

Ah, I re-edited some stuff in Part One. And yep, this would definitely be a three-parter.

More references are made here, including about one or two from the OVAs. Note that I didn't use anything from the TV series, as that probably took place in an entirely alternate universe, and is one that I'm not really quite fond of.

_Disclaimer:_ Sakura Taisen is owned by Sega and Red Entertainment. I am not making a profit out of this fanfic, but still, this particular story is mine, so please don't take it.

* * *

**Aftermath**

**-Questions-**

* * *

The door to Sumire's room opened, causing Oogami to look up from his leaning position on the wall. Reni soon emerged, quietly closing the door behind her. She looked at Oogami, gave him a curt nod, and began to move towards her room without a single sound.

"Reni," Oogami said gently. "Can we talk?"

Reni still had her back towards him, but at least she had come to a stop.

Oogami took a deep breath. "I know," he began, "... that you were bothered by what Sumire had said. Would you care to tell me about it?"

Reni was hesitant. She didn't really want to talk about anything to anyone at that moment, but at the same time she felt that if she remained silent, she would burst from the various different feelings coursing through her.

But the captain had always been there to help her, even though she usually never asked for it. Surely he could do something to ease her confusion.

"(1)Taichou..." she began, though abruptly stopping, as her sharp ears caught the sound of someone coming up the stairs at the end of the hallway.

Oogami heard it, too. "Would you like to join me at the library?" he offered, not really comfortable in asking if she would like to talk in either one of their rooms.

Reni shrugged, but she followed him anyway.

On the way, they passed by Maria, who was the one they heard earlier as she walked towards Kanna's room. They acknowledged each other with a short nod, before they all went to their respective destinations.

When they arrived at the library, Reni leaned against the wall beside the entrance and stared at the floor. Oogami stood a few feet in front of her, waiting... encouraging her to begin the conversation.

"Y-you once told me," Reni finally spoke, "that our reason for fighting was to protect the ones dear to us."

Oogami nodded, remembering. (2)It was during the time when Reni was under Suiko's influence, when they were trying to prove that she was not merely a machine raised solely for fighting.

"But if we were unable to achieve that goal, then what does that make of us? A failure?"

"Reni, I don't think we would ever come to that..."

"Please answer me, Taichou."

When Oogami couldn't reply, Reni lowered her head, disappointed that he was not able to disprove her query. "I see..."

Oogami vigorously shook his head. "No, I don't think you do. Reni, nobody is a failure!"

"You did not sound so convinced yourself."

Oogami winced. Reni was right – he did felt like he was a failure. He was the captain of the Hanagumi, and the over-all commander of the Teikoku Kagekidan. It was his job to ensure that everyone in the troop was safe. He even promised them so many times that he would protect them without fail.

What happened to those promises? And how can he ever explain himself to Yoneda, who had (3)entrusted both his position and the lives of his precious daughters to him?

"True..." he finally admitted. "Right now I feel like I had totally let Sakura-kun down, even though I know I probably had no fault... that no one was at fault. I'm not even sure if I could still face her like I used to, with this feeling hanging over me."

He frowned. "No. Actually, I'm very grateful that I can still face her. If she hadn't come back... well, I'm not sure what I would have ended up doing." He sighed deeply, hoping it would never come to that.

"But you know, Reni, failure is just an adjective. An emotion. A feeling that may gnaw at you permanently, but only if you let it. Once you stand back up and start walking again, it gradually dissipates."

"Based on your logic, you're also saying that in the end even our enemies are not failures, though they _failed_ to achieve their own goals," Reni scoffed.

"They're not," her companion argued. "Because they were still able to get their message across, no matter how twisted it may be."

Oogami could see that Reni was still unconvinced, so he continued. "The fact that we are able to touch the life of even just one other, human or otherwise, intentional or not, during or beyond our lifetime... it is, _without fail_, every single being's greatest achievement. If you think about it, it is the basis why all of us even have reasons to do what we do." He shrugged. "And when someone has achieved something so great, then he can't be called a failure, can't he?"

Reni was staring straight ahead, her eyes unfocused and looking past Oogami as she dwelled on what he had said. "...to touch the life of another..." she murmured.

"(4)Shiro is a good example of that."

She blinked, her thought process disturbed. "Shiro?"

"He may only be a dog, but he was certainly able to carve himself a little niche in your heart by just playing with you."

Reni had to smile a little to that.

Oogami sat down on a nearby chair and leaned on his knees with his elbows, his palms brought together in front of him. "So... what happens if I'm unable to achieve my goals? Yes, I would _feel_ like a failure, as I had just admitted earlier. But I would like to think that I would eventually be able to pick myself up again, and spend the rest of my life atoning for my shortcomings, reaching out to other people and carving new aspirations for myself in the process.

"Just like what (5)Yoneda-chujo had done..."

His last statement was said so softly, Reni was hardly able to hear it. But she did. And she understood.

It was enough to allay her insecurities. For now.

Oogami closed his eyes. He truly wished that he could be as strong as Yoneda if such a tragedy does occur. (6)The Hanagumi already had so many close calls – in fact, Sakura's "death" meant that all the six original members of the division had already "died" at one point. In all cases, Oogami placed all his focus on fighting against the enemy, if only to forget that they had been lost. He never had the time to truly lament – luck always seemed to be with them, as they were all revived before he even had the chance to grieve.

But someday, that luck they had come to rely on would run out. Someday, there would not be an Angel Michael, or any other miracle that could bring a beloved comrade back to life. And he didn't know if he would ever be ready when it does happen.

Just the mere thought of it made his chest constrict in pain.

"Taichou."

Oogami looked up. While he had been preoccupied, Reni had moved forward and was now kneeling in front of him.

"Vouching for the other Hanagumi members as well as myself, you have, without a doubt, long attained that greatest achievement of which you claim, and continue to do so now."

"Reni..." Oogami couldn't say anything else.

"I just thought you ought to know."

With that, Reni stood back up and left the library.

Oogami paused for a while, before leaving the room himself.

As he had predicted earlier, he still had a long night ahead of him.

* * *

Her hands folded on her lap as she sat quietly on Iris' bed, Sakura watched while Iris put on her nightgown and tucked her blond hair beneath a nightcap. Though she was only 8 years older, she felt something akin to maternal pride as she observed that the young French girl who was hardly 10 years old when they first met was now promising to be a beautiful young teenager.

_Although I don't think Jean Paul will ever be detached from her, no matter how old she gets_, Sakura slyly noted as Iris gently picked the teddy bear up before sitting down right next to her.

Though they often had conversations late into the evening this way, it wasn't often that Iris would lay her head on Sakura's shoulder, and it was even rarer that she would grip her kimono's sleeve as if trying to make sure that she stayed put, similar to Kohran. But tonight she did, and Sakura knew it was her way of saying that she needed comfort.

Comfort Sakura wasn't sure she would be able to provide that night.

"Iris," she began. "I'm not sure if I had thanked you enough for what you and the others had done for me today."

Iris shook her head slowly, but didn't say anything. Sakura felt her tremble, though, her hold on her kimono tightening, as if Iris knew what she was going to say next.

"I'm really sorry for having the need to ask this." Sakura tilted her head a bit so that she was looking directly at Iris. "But... would you really have exchanged your life for mine, had the others not stopped you?"

"Yes," Iris immediately answered.

Sakura swivelled towards Iris as the younger girl raised her head. It pained her to state what she had to say next, but she knew that she had to do it. For Iris' sake. "Iris, I need you to promise that you won't ever do, or even think about doing that again."

Iris glared at her. She just _knew_ that Sakura would ask that of her. But she would never listen. Not when her friend and caretaker's life was at stake. "No, Iris won't."

"Iris, please..."

"No!!" Iris said vehemently. "Why can't Iris do it?! Sakura has always taken care of Iris! It's only right that Iris should give something in return!"

Sakura was tight-lipped as she tried to dissuade her charge. "Even if I took care of you for the rest of our lives, it would still not be enough to pay for your life. How do you think I would feel if I found out that you died in place of me?"

"Iris doesn't care!" the young French cried. "Iris doesn't want to be in a world without all her friends! Iris wants to be with everyone!"

Sakura gave her a reprimanding look. "You're just being very selfish," she scolded.

"No, 'am not!"

"Iris..." Sakura reached over and tried to give her a consoling hug. "We all can't be together forever. No matter how much you love someone..." she paused, trying to control her emotions as she thought about her father. "Well... everyone dies sooner or later."

"But with Iris, it's different! Iris has the power to bring people back to life!"

"Iris should also learn to value her own life more," Sakura argued gently.

Iris buried her face in Sakura's shoulder, still shaking her head, still refusing to give in. "Sakura is not being fair..." she whimpered. "How many times had Sakura protected Iris from harm? How many times had Sakura almost seriously injured herself because of Iris?"

(7)The memory of her covering Iris with her own body when a bomb had exploded in the dressing room came to Sakura's mind, along with all the other times she used herself as a shield for others.

(8)Oogami at the basement.

The young mother and her baby at the shrine.

Suddenly, pain flared from where she had obtained her wounds earlier that day. It took all her willpower not to wince and let Iris know of her discomfort.

"Iris really loves onee-chan, so she can't... she just can't..." Iris wept, tears forming rivulets on her cheeks as they fell from her eyes.

"If Sakura is willing to die for Iris, then why can't Iris do the same?"

Sakura bit her lip. It has been so long since Iris had called her "onee-chan" – the last she could remember was when she was still trying to assimilate herself to the newly formed Hanagumi, so many years ago. She had always been grateful to the little girl, as she was the first one whom she became closely acquainted with during those trying times – sure, Maria had also been friendly, but she was really more of a mentor than a friend, which was what Sakura sorely needed back then.

She was losing her internal battle. The back of her eyes were stinging; her throat was choked as a sob threatened to come out. She pressed Iris even closer to her, whispering as she dared not trust the strength of her voice:

"Because Sakura doesn't want to be in a world without Iris, either..."

_Because I am just as selfish as you_.

Iris was now crying in earnest. Sakura continued to hold on to her, and wept silently as her self-appointed charge wrapped her arms around her as tight as she could.

* * *

When Oogami reached the hallway leading back to the dormitories, he was surprised to find Maria emerging from Kanna's bedroom. Given that Kanna was just as drunk as Sumire had been, he had not expected that Maria would take as long as she did in getting the Okinawan ready for bed.

"Ya, Maria..." Oogami said after she had turned and noticed him as well. "We seem to run into each other quite often tonight."

Maria gave him a small smile. "True, Taichou. The Hanagumi... seem to be in need of some counselling tonight on account of what happened."

Oogami nodded in agreement, now having understood why Maria was held back.

"Anyway, I was able to contact Orihime and have already spoken to Kanna, so you need not worry about them. Sakura seems to have been able to handle Kohran and is currently with Iris. I trust that you have taken care of Sumire and Reni as well."

"Yes... thank you for all your help," Oogami said, grateful for her assistance.

"You're welcome."

There was, however, a hint of hesitation in Oogami's voice earlier – one which Maria was quickly able to pick up. "What is it, Taichou?"

"How about you, Maria?" Oogami asked quietly.

"Experiences such as these are common on the battlefield," she quickly replied. "You might say I'm already a veteran."

Oogami placed his hands in his pockets and leaned back against the wall. "That doesn't mean that there isn't anything bothering you."

Maria chuckled softly. "You're as perceptive as always, Taichou."

The Hanagumi commander shrugged. "It's my job."

His vice commander shook her head. "No. It's just you."

From their location at the hallway, they could hear Iris sobbing from her room, so they quietly decided to give her more privacy and vacated the area. _I still haven't done my night rounds anyway_, Oogami thought as they wandered aimlessly around the Teigeki with no particular destination in mind.

They passed by the vice commander's room, where Kaede laid sleeping, dead to the world after she and Yoneda had also gone on a drinking spree of their own somewhere in town. It seems that, unlike her older sister, she couldn't handle alcohol very well herself, and much like Oogami with Sumire earlier, Yoneda had to half-drag, half-carry her back to the theatre, muttering to himself that he would never get Kaede drunk again.

That was before Yoneda saw Sakura – the Hanagumi's own party was still on at full-blast when they got to the theatre. Upon laying his eyes on her, the aging man suddenly broke down, and he had to be pried away gently from Sakura and brought home himself, with Kasumi escorting him.

Oogami knew that he was thinking about Shinguuji Kazuma again.

When they reached the salon, they stopped by to pet Shiro, who had taken shelter in the room for the night.

It wasn't until they reached the hall leading to the terrace before Oogami asked Maria about her concerns.

"I'm worried," Maria answered. "Not only for Sakura, but for all of us, in general."

"I guess you're also thinking about how today marks the day when everyone in the Hanagumi sans Reni, Orihime, and myself had died and was reborn?" Oogami inquired.

Maria glanced at him, slightly surprised that he had the same thoughts. "Yes."

Oogami exhaled slowly.

"It's not about our fighting skills," Maria said quickly, thinking that perhaps her captain felt that she was reprimanding him for his leadership skills again. "It's more about... well..."

She paused to collect her thoughts. "I'm just wondering how different we are from our previous enemies, given that we ourselves are also reviving the dead to fight again."

Oogami's eyebrows knotted together. "You mean... like the (9)Hangon no Jutsu?"

Maria nodded. By that time they had already made it to the second floor audience seating within the theatre, where they sat down to continue their discussion as they stared at the empty stage below.

"When it happened the first time, these thoughts didn't occur to me," Maria admitted. "It wasn't the choice of anyone within us to be revived – someone else had done it for us. But for Sakura, we were desperate. How long can this go on before we begin to seek other sources of power if only to keep our loved ones alive?"

"And how long would that quest for power turn into lust, eventually blinding us and setting ourselves up against those we had once sworn to protect?" Oogami muttered, his voice sounding detached, as if he was a million miles away.

Once again, Maria stared at Oogami, him having finished her question for her. "Yes..."

The Hanagumi captain pondered on the query for a while. "Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I could provide an answer to that," he finally said, sitting up straight in his seat. "We're all individuals after all, and we have different reactions to different situations.

"(10)But Yoneda-shihainin had probably said it best when he confronted Shinnosuke Yamazaki when he was revived by Kyogoku." Oogami smiled. "'_Don't place too much trust on strength alone,' _he had said. And we all know that that is true within the Hanagumi, as we have also come to place our trust in each other, and in the power we know we have within ourselves."

_In other words, when faced with issues, we are more than willing to exhaust everything within our own capabilities, including the possibility of giving up our own life, before we would even dream about harming others_.

"As long as we continue to build that trust, I don't think we need to worry," Oogami said. "And as for the difference between us and the enemy, well… here's something to think about."

He turned and met Maria's green eyes. "You're still you, right? You're not acting on anyone's behalf. You're your own master."

Maria held his gaze for a moment, as she felt relief wash over her. "You're right."

They stayed at their seats a few minutes more, reflecting on everything that had been said and done that night. Eventually, Oogami was left alone, as Maria got up and bade him good-night.

_--Tsuzuki_--

* * *

_Story Notes_:  
(1) - "taichou" - captain/commander  
(2) - Reference: Sakura Taisen 2 Episode 6  
(3) - Reference: Sakura Taisen 4 Act 3  
(4) - "Shiro" - the dog Oogami, Sakura, and Kohran adopted in Sakura Taisen 2 Episode 4. The name may vary depending on the player's choice. In this case, the name Sakura had suggested is used.  
(5) - "Yoneda-chujo" - Lt. General Yoneda. Also, what is referred here is that Yoneda had lost all his comrades from the Tai-Kouma Butai, but he continues to move on despite being depressed about it.  
(6) - As far as I understood, each Hanagumi minus Oogami and Sakura died when they began infiltrating the Seimajou in the final episode of Sakura Taisen 1. I never completed the game with anyone else other than Sakura though, so if I am mistaken, please feel free to correct me.  
(7) - Reference: Sakura Taisen "Gouka Kenran" Episode 1  
(8) - Reference: Sakura Taisen 1 Episode 6 (Episode 7 in the PS2 version)  
(9) - "Hangon no Jutsu" - literally, "anti-soul technique", used by Kyogoku Keigo to revive Yamazaki Shinnosuke and Shinguuji Kazuma in Sakura Taisen 2, and was in Sakura Taisen 4 said to be a technique mastered by a certain Okubo Nagayasu during the Edo era, used to make the dead to work at the mines  
(10) - "Yoneda-shihainin" - Manager Yoneda. Also, note the reference to Sakura Taisen 2 Episode 1


	3. Laments

_Author's Notes:_  
SPOILER WARNING!! If you haven't seen the Sakura Taisen Kayou Show Final (Shin Ai Yueni) and have intentions of watching it, plus is allergic to spoilers, then please _back out now_. This story is highly inspired by that show, particularly the events in Act 2, and I don't really want to ruin such powerful scenes for you.

Delayed by a couple of days due to food poisoning. Still not completely well, actually. (sweatdrop) Ahh, well. I have to admit, I got so used to writing ST comedy pieces for "The Odd and the Weird" that it had been difficult for me to convey more serious feelings for the entirety of this fic. I may come back to this entire piece someday for further editing, but for the moment, I'd like to at least refocus my attention and submit a couple more chapters for the aforementioned fic... and possibly submit a new one? Hmm...

Ah! For those familiar with the game, you may notice that I seemed vague at one possibly story branch. That one is intentional. When making in-game references, I tried to limit them to dialogues/events that actually take place regardless of the choices the player makes.

_Disclaimer:_ Sakura Taisen is owned by Sega and Red Entertainment. I am not making a profit out of this fanfic, but still, this particular story is mine, so please don't take it.

* * *

**Aftermath**

**-Laments-**

* * *

He didn't know how long he sat at the audience seating, but by the time Oogami left, the Teigeki was silent. Just as he began to wonder if he was the only person still awake within the theatre, Shiro came bounding up to him near the hall, whining softly as he approached.

"Hey, big fella," he said, bending down and fondly grasping the dog at the sides of his neck. "I thought you were already going to sleep when we left you."

Shiro wrestled against his hold, causing Oogami to let go. The dog then bit his sleeve and began to tug impatiently, still whimpering all the while.

His behaviour caused Oogami to become apprehensive. Despite having walked around with Maria earlier, he didn't really do a good job performing his nightly rounds – had danger suddenly entered the theatre while he was slacking off?

_Damn, I thought Sakura-kun already got rid of the monster..._ he thought, gently prying his shirt away from Shiro's persistent jerks as he cautiously straightened himself. The dog let out a small bark, the noise making Oogami cringe as he placed a finger on his lips to warn Shiro to keep quiet. "We don't want to alert our presence to them," he whispered warily.

Shiro tilted his head – Oogami could almost swear he was trying to say "_What the heck are you talking about?_" – before the dog bolted off down the hallway. "Ah! Wait for me!" Oogami yelled hoarsely in an attempt to keep his voice low. However, Shiro kept going, only pausing near the salon as he waited for his master to catch up, before running away again once more towards the direction of the girls' rooms.

_No, not there...! Everybody's unprepared!_

His worries increased when he heard Shiro whine again. He soon skidded around the corner, and though there were no enemies that could be found, the sight that stood before him did nothing to calm his shot nerves.

Sakura was on the floor a little ways beyond the door to Iris' bedroom, her body curled in a fetal position with her arms encircled tightly around the two areas where she had been stabbed earlier that day. Shiro was licking Sakura's face as he whimpered, trying to console her, but not having much success.

"Sakura-kun!" Oogami cried, rushing towards her.

Sakura looked up, her expression pained, though she tried to smile for his sake. "Oogami-san..." she managed to say, before wincing and groaning as pain consumed her.

He knelt beside her and laid her head on his lap. Worry and concern was etched across his face. "What happened? Your wounds... they're not bleeding, are they?!"

He grabbed her hands and lifted them away from her waist, murmuring an apology when Sakura flinched in discomfort. He found no blood stains, but still... "I need to take you to the infirmary," the Hanagumi captain anxiously declared. "We need to have you checked... damn, Kaede-san isn't going to be of any help right now... why didn't you call Maria?!" he admonished as he carefully lifted her from the floor and made a move towards the aforementioned woman's room.

Sakura shook her head. "Please don't..." she begged, breathless. "It's nothing, really..."

Oogami frowned as she continued to shiver in his arms. He could feel her muscles contract with every agonizing sting; could see the beads of sweat that had formed on her forehead; her jaw clenching in an effort not to cry out loud. "This isn't 'nothing'!" he insisted.

But Sakura silently pleaded with him through brown eyes clouded with pain. Oogami eventually gave in. "Let me at least take you to your room."

Sakura sighed at his words, leaning her head against the crook of his shoulder as he carried her across the hallway to her bedroom. Shiro followed them inside and settled himself beside the bed, where Oogami laid his precious bundle.

"Thank you," Sakura whispered as Oogami placed a blanket over her. She wasn't dressed for bed, but she was in too much pain to care. "I didn't want to worry the others... I've already done enough as it is."

"I don't think they'd mind. They care about you too much for that," Oogami said, sitting on the edge of the bed alongside her. He then watched as Sakura gasped, her body suddenly jerking before she curled over once more. "Isn't there anything I can do?!" he asked desperately, seizing her hand as it trembled on her pillow.

She squeezed his fingers and gave him a weak smile.

"Stay."

So he did.

Still, it was difficult for him to just sit there and watch her suffer. The best he could do was to hold on to her hand as she clenched his own with varying strengths, depending on how much pain was coursing through her nerves. At one point, even Oogami had winced, as her grip had been a little too tight.

He began to wonder why Sakura's wounds began hurting all of a sudden, as she had seemed just fine during the party. He wished he could perform a more thorough check on her condition, but... well... though he had already seen her naked at the medi-pod before (1), she had been in a trance state back then, and he wasn't at all comfortable to look at her bare midriff while she's conscious. Besides, he wasn't a doctor – what could he do?

_If only Kohran was awake, she could have given Sakura-kun one of her wonder drugs, like that time_...(2)

Suddenly, Oogami recalled something important.

After their first battle against Setsuna, it took three days before the badly injured was well enough to be safely removed from the medi-pod, and another few days before complete recovery was obtained. But this time, in an effort to help her friends, Sakura got out of the pod in less than an hour after being revived. That had hardly been enough time for her wounds to heal properly, especially considering how grave they were.

_All this time she had probably been enduring it without telling anybody, as she didn't want us to worry..._ Oogami thought, bitter that he had agreed to hold a celebration that night without thinking about Sakura's well-being first.

The hand he held gave another squeeze, but it was gentler, so much so that it startled him. Looking down, he was touched to see that Sakura was gazing at him concernedly. Here she was, completely agonized, and yet she still found it in her to worry about him. He smiled at her and squeezed back, letting her know that he was all right.

Eventually the pain ceased, and Sakura was given a respite. Oogami felt her grip weaken and allowed normal circulation back into his fingers. "Are you okay?" he asked, not letting on that his hand stung as blood came rushing back to its veins. After all, what he felt was nothing compared to what she had to endure.

Sakura nodded, before giving Oogami an apologetic look. "I'm sorry. I didn't want any of you to see me like this," she said.

"If there's anything you should be sorry about, it's that you didn't tell us that you're still hurting," he reprimanded gently. "I know you don't wish to worry us, but we would only be more anxious if you made yourself worse."

"...Sumire-san would probably be livid if she found out about this."

Oogami grinned, remembering his conversation with Sumire earlier that evening. "You'll never hear the end of it."

Sakura smiled. "That would be horrible," she said. It was very easy for her to imagine Sumire yelling at her ear for an entire day, and the thought of it amuses her somehow.

"It won't stop there," Oogami added. "Maria would confine you to bed for weeks, with Reni standing on guard outside your room, letting no one in or out. Kohran would probably invent something to make sure you stay in bed and get your rest – something relatively dangerous, of course."

"Oh, no..." Sakura laughed.

Oogami continued, encouraged by Sakura's soft giggles. "Kanna would be allowed in so that she could feed you, but Kaede-san would probably make sure she wouldn't stay and keep you up from your bed longer than they deem you have to. Iris would be ba-"

He paused when he saw Sakura's smile suddenly disappear, her eyes becoming distant. Concerned that perhaps she was in pain again, he tightened his hold on her hand, which he had not yet released. "Sakura-kun...?"

She blinked at his actions and looked up. "I'm fine... I'm sorry – I didn't mean to lose focus."

"That's all right, but... what's wrong?"

Sakura sighed. "I worry for Iris," she admitted.

She never could keep her concerns from Oogami. Years of him providing support to the Hanagumi had made her used to informing him of her troubles. But then again, she always did trust him implicitly...

Unbeknownst to her, however, Oogami grew anxious with her words. Was he that blind that he wasn't able to tell that Iris was hurt, too?! "Why? Is she okay?"

"For now, she is, thanks to the others," she answered. "When they... brought me back... they shared the burden and each gave me a part of themselves. But before they were able to convince her, Iris had been willing to shoulder everything – to give up her life in exchange for mine. When I tried to make her promise that she would never do it again, she refused to listen." Sakura bit her lip. "I can't have that."

"Then we should all be careful next time so that she wouldn't have to do it, right?" Oogami quipped.

But his companion was serious. Oogami stared at her until she avoided his gaze in discomfort. His face hardened, and he could feel anger building up inside him as he thought of the one thing he was sure was also in Sakura's mind. "You're still not thinking about that, are you?" he asked, though he knew there was no need for him to do so.

"I bear the blood of the destroyers of evil," Sakura said solemnly. "With or without the majinki, it is my fate to die in battle against demons."

"That's a load of bull!" Oogami said, his voice rising. "I thought we had long discussed that?!"

Sakura closed her eyes. "I thought so, too, but after today... well. It seems that everyone's actions only delayed the inevitable. I should have known better," she murmured.

"Stop it!" Oogami grabbed her shoulder with his free hand. "Quit acting like a martyr! What happened to the girl who told me that she wanted to have a normal life? To the one who wanted to cherish the life given to her by her mother and father?!"

Sakura shook her head vehemently before she exclaimed:

"She _DIED_!!"

Oogami was stunned with Sakura's outburst. He was not expecting that at all. True, Sakura has always been haunted by her family's "curse" – he refused to call it as anything else but such. Yet even if she wasn't an eternal optimist like Kohran, she still loved life, and embraced it with all her being. To hear her claim that this part of her had died... it was like she was saying she wasn't herself anymore.

He looked at her closely. And knew the truth.

"That's a lie," Oogami proclaimed. "For if that girl was truly dead, then the one who replaced her in front of me wouldn't be crying."

Sakura's eyes widened. Words... they were not difficult to control. But tears usually came at their own accord, and people were more often than not powerless to stop them. They came from the heart; it was how she truly felt, and no amount of persuasion could dissuade it.

She buried her face in her pillow, part of her ashamed that Oogami had seen right through her, the other half relieved that he did.

"I was so scared," Sakura whispered as she wept. "And I am still scared. I once told Maria-san that we controlled our own destiny(3). But after Kyougoku, I was no longer sure. My dear father... he died once more before I had the chance to savour the fact that he was alive – as if fate deemed his rebirth a mistake and corrected it(4). If this is how it should be – that once we offer up our lives in exchange for the gift that was given to us, then that sacrifice should be final and complete – then how long do I have before fate recognizes my deception and comes to claim me a second time, as it had with my father?

"That's why I couldn't let Iris do this again. Death would just repeat itself, and her sacrifice would only be in vain. This... abnormality..." Sakura clenched a part of her kimono that was close to her heart. "...does not have long to live, and can never expect to live a normal life again."

Oogami's heart sank, not able to bear with listening to her speak such troubling words. His rage subsiding, he lifted her from her reclining position and propped her upright beside him. He felt disappointed when Sakura faced the wall instead of looking at him, but he felt compelled to speak anyway.

Anything to bring Sakura back to who she was.

"This life you hold is no longer the one given to you by a cruel fate through your father's blood," he told her softly. "It is a life given to you by your friends, by their own will, in defiance of that said fate. You're not an abnormality at all. If anything, you deserve to be given a normal life, as you have met and – with what had happened today – fulfilled your obligations to the fullest extent, and still even continue to do so.

"Don't look as if the others have wasted their lives in bringing you back. Instead, focus on what they had given you. The life granted to you by your father and mother... protected from death by Shinguuji-taisa from evil(5)... and now fully composed of your friends' love... your life has been literally touched by so many people! Cherish it, as you have always done! Protect it! Live, if not for yourself, then for them, who had sacrificed so much!"

_Come back to us, Sakura-kun!_

Sakura's shoulders wracked with silent sobs. Oogami reached out and cupped her chin in his hand, guiding her so that they were facing one another. "Sakura-kun."

She leaned against him, and he held her close in an embrace.

"You always did know what to say..." Sakura said in a tiny voice, muffled by his shirt where her face was pressed against.

And it was true. She was still fraught with insecurities, but for a moment... _even just for a moment_... she was at peace.

Oogami just held on to her, finally lost for words.

They remained that way for a while, until Oogami broke through the comforting silence.

"When morning comes, shall I take you to the infirmary?"

"...No."

"Are you sure?"

"The pain... is a good reminder that I'm still alive."

Oogami squeezed her shoulder. That may be true, but he still wished she didn't have to suffer.

"What about you, Oogami-san?" Sakura asked quietly. "While the Hanagumi is fussing over me... where would you be?"

"I would be there to protect you," Oogami answered immediately and without hesitation.

His words filled her once more with warmth and ease, and Sakura smiled. She moved slightly, placing an ear over his chest, and listened to his heartbeat.

It was a truly wonderful rhythm to hear.

And it comforted her greatly that she could feel the same rhythm within her as well.

Oogami laid his cheek on Sakura's soft hair, unperturbed by the ribbon that still held it in place. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." he whispered, his voice full of regret, finally able to articulate what he had wanted to say all night. "I promised to you before that I would protect you, and I even promised that I would never let you die alone(6), but I was not able to fulfil any of that." He closed his eyes. She was here now, alive and in his arms, as opposed to her lifeless form when Kanna carried her to the Teigeki much to everyone's shock, but it was difficult to force that image away from his mind. "I had no time to check up on you when the enemy suddenly arrived... I never even had the time to grieve..."

Sakura felt him shiver at an imagined cold. It was, perhaps, her turn to reciprocate the warmth he constantly gave her.

"Then let us mourn together."

He raised his head and looked at her with confusion. "At what?"

Sakura clenched the hand that Oogami had never released that evening. "At the passing of a life that had once been expected of me."

It was her final confirmation that she now believed her life was truly her own.

So they grieved for her "death", and it was only when Oogami silently wept with Sakura when he felt that, finally, the long night was over.

A new day has dawned in the aftermath, carrying with it renewed hopes... and a life that was completely reborn.

_--Owari--_

* * *

_Story Notes_:  
(1) - Reference: Sakura Taisen 1 Episode 7 (Episode 8 in the PS2 version)  
(2) - Reference: Sakura Taisen 1 Episode 3  
(3) - Reference: Sakura Taisen "Gouka Kenran" Episode 1  
(4) - Reference: Sakura Taisen 2 Episode 12  
(5) - "Shinguuji-taisa" - Colonel Shinguuji. Also note another reference to (4)  
(6) - Reference: Sakura Taisen 2 Episode 8


End file.
